The following sections describe what most children in various age groups are likely to understand. These guidelines are general; each child is different. Your child may fit into more than one or none of these categories.
Up to 2 Years Old
Children this young do not understand cancer. They understand what they can see and touch. Their biggest concern is what is happening to them right now. They worry most about being away from their parents.
After children are a year old, they think about how things feel and how to control things around them. Very young children are most afraid of medical tests. Many cry, run away, or squirm to try to control what is happening.
Because children begin to think about and understand what is going on around them at about 18 months, it is best to be honest. Be truthful about trips to the hospital and explain procedures that may hurt. You can tell your child that needle sticks will hurt a minute and that it is okay to cry. Being honest lets your child know that you understand and accept his or her feelings and helps your child trust you.
When you can, give your child choices. For example, if a medicine is taken by mouth, you might ask if your child would like it mixed in apple juice, grape juice, or applesauce.
2 to 7 Years Old
When children are between the ages of 2 and 7, they link events to one thing. For example, they usually tie illness to a specific event such as staying in bed or eating chicken soup. Children this age often think their illness is caused by a specific action. Therefore, getting better will "just happen" or will come if they follow a set of rules.
These approaches might help when talking with a child in this age group:
- Explain that treatment is needed so the hurting will go away or so the child can get better and play without getting so tired.
- Explain that the illness or treatment is not punishment for something the child has done, said, or thought.
- Be honest when you explain tests and treatments. Remind the child that all of these things are being done to get rid of the cancer and to help him or her get well.
- Use simple ways to explain the illness. For example, try talking about the cancer as a contest between "good" cells and "bad" cells.
- Having treatment will help the good cells to be stronger so that they can beat the bad cells.
