Telling Your Child They Have Cancer

How to Tell Your Older Child

7 to 12 Years Old

Children ages 7 to 12 are starting to understand links between things and events. For example, a child this age sees his or her illness as a set of symptoms, is less likely to believe that something he or she did caused the illness, understands that getting better comes from taking medicines and doing what the doctor says, and is able to cooperate with treatment.

You can give more details when explaining cancer, but you should still use situations your child may be used to. You might say that the body is made of up different types of cells, and these cells have different jobs to do. Like people, these cells must work together to get the job done. You might describe the cancer cells as "troublemakers" that get in the way of the work of the good cells. Treatment helps to get rid of the troublemakers so that other cells can work well together.

12 Years and Older

Children over 12 years old can often understand complicated relationships between events. They can think about things that have not happened to them. Teenagers tend to think of illness in terms of specific symptoms, such as tiredness, and in terms of limits or changes in their everyday activity. But because they also can understand the reason for their symptoms, you can explain cancer as a disease in which a few cells in the body go "haywire." These "haywire" cells grow more quickly than normal cells, invade other parts of the body, and get in the way of how the body usually works. The goal of treatment is to kill the "haywire" cells. The body can then work normally again, and the symptoms will go away.

Adapted from NCI at cancer.gov.