Telling Friend and Family You Have Been Diagnosed with Cancer

Telling friends and family that you have been diagnosed with cancer is not an easy task. Not only do you have to deal with the emotions you are feeling, but you also have to cope with the reaction of the person you are telling.

Many recently diagnosed patients feel the need to announce their diagnosis to everyone around them. Feeling like everyone should know is normal, however its not always best.

From experience, I have learned to only tell those who I knew you would be a great support system for me, such as immediate family and very close friends.

The biggest challenge is saying the words "I have cancer”. Saying those words out loud can release emotions that you may have been suppressing. Telling someone somehow makes the disease more real.

Although it may be difficult in finding the right words, it is very therapeutic because you are admitting you are sick. This is the first step in coping with cancer-admittance.

When people first hear the word “cancer”, they automatically think the worst. It is your responsibility to educate them on the extent of the disease. The more at ease and knowledgeable they are, the more effective support they can give to you. Being surrounded by people whose anxieties and fears are obvious will not allow you to cope in a healthy manner. Remember, your coping is the most important right now.

Telling Your Spouse/Partner
This will likely be the first person you tell. Your spouse will likely be your caregiver during treatments and can be the best support system you have. It is important to be completely honest about your cancer and what your prognosis is. Allowing he or she to accompany you to appointments will make you feel less alone with the disease. When you have a partner who gives you ultimate support, combating cancer begins to feel like teamwork.

Telling Your Children
It is always difficult to tell children bad news. Many times they keep frustrations and concerns bottled up. Its important to let them know that you have cancer, and to be honest about what cancer is. Don't assume they know what it is because they often hear it on television. Explain the physical process of how it develops and what treatment you are going to have.

I would delay telling children until you are aware of the extent of your disease and what course of treatment you will be taking. Children understand best when they can see the whole picture, not just little pieces. Remember to be confident. Your optimism about beating cancer will reassure them.

Its also important for them to know that your disease is not contagious and it won't affect them physically. This might even be one of the first questions they ask you. They are not being selfish. Children often hear about people catching a cold, or the flu and naturally assume it may be the same for cancer.

How you explain it to your children and what information you choose for them to know depends on their age. If you have any questions about telling your children and what affect it may have, consult your physician. He may be able to coach you on what to say and what not to say.

Telling Friends and Family Again, be candid and honest about your disease. You can pick and choose what details you would like to share. But remember, these are the people who are going to be your support system. Being straightforward about your fears and anxieties are essential.